Community
Lev Shomea
Lev Shome’a / לב שומע / A Listening Heart וְנָתַתָּ לְעַבְדְּךָ לֵב שֹׁמֵעַ לִשְׁפֹּט אֶת־עַמְּךָ לְהָבִין בֵּין־טוֹב לְרָע כִּי מִי יוּכַל לִשְׁפֹּט אֶת־עַמְּךָ הַכָּבֵד הַזֶּה׃ (מלכים א, ג, ט) [King Shlomo asked of God]: "Grant Your servant a listening heart to judge Your people, to discern between right and wrong; for who can judge this vast people of Yours?” (I Kings 3:9) |
When God offered Shlomo a gift upon becoming king, Shlomo didn’t ask for horses or wealth or glory. He asked for a listening heart, which was the basis for his legendary wisdom. And though we do sometimes need to decide, we should have deep humility about how certainly we can know what is right and what other people should think or do. When in doubt: listen.
Dan Lechaf Zechut / דן לכף זכות / Judging Favorably (giving the benefit of the doubt) יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן פְּרַחְיָה אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה לְךָ רַב, וּקְנֵה לְךָ חָבֵר, וֶהֱוֵי דָן אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם לְכַף זְכוּת. (פרקי אבות א, ו) Yehoshua ben Perachyah used to say: appoint for yourself a teacher, and acquire for yourself a companion, and judge all people with the scale weighted in their favor. (Pirkei Avot 1:6) |
Since we inevitably do make judgments about people, we should do it with as favorable and generous an interpretation as possible. We shouldn’t jump to the worst possible version of their meaning and motivation. In community, we should start from the assumption that people are acting from the best of intentions, and to the best of their ability in their circumstances. If we’re not sure, we can ask, with curiosity and openness.
Machloket Leshem Shamayim / מחלוקת לשם שמים / Debate for the Sake of Heaven כָּל מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם; וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, אֵין סוֹפָהּ לְהִתְקַיֵּם. אֵיזוֹ הִיא מַחֲלֹקֶת שֶׁהִיא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם? זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת הִלֵּל וְשַׁמַּאי; וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, זוֹ מַחֲלֹקֶת קֹרַח וְכָל עֲדָתוֹ. (פרקי אבות ה, יז) Every dispute that is for the sake of Heaven, will in the end have enduring value; But one that is not for the sake of Heaven, will in the end not endure. Which is the controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Hillel and Shammai. And which is the controversy that is not for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Korach and his entire faction. (Pirkei Avot 5:17) |
Difference and debate are good, okay, and welcome! As long as it’s about a worthy topic, and there is a shared intention to reach a deeper shared understanding. Like Hillel and Shammai, the parties need to be in real relationship and dialogue – not like Korach and his faction, who just revved up their own supporters. We each have a piece of the truth. None of us has the whole truth. We all have something to learn from each other.
Panim el Panim / פנים אל פנים / Face to Face וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אַל־נָא אִם־נָא מָצָאתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ וְלָקַחְתָּ מִנְחָתִי מִיָּדִי כִּי עַל־כֵּן רָאִיתִי פָנֶיךָ כִּרְאֹת פְּנֵי אֱ'לֹהִים וַתִּרְצֵנִי׃ (בראשית לג, י) |
Face to face is the best and fullest way to be in communication. We sense the divinity in each other, which leads us to express ourselves with more respect and to listen with more compassion. When we need to have a complex or sensitive conversation, let’s get off of Facebook, phones, or Zooms, and find a way to get together. The effort is worth it.
Kevod Haberiyot / כבוד הבריות / Honoring the dignity of all people, including self and other תָּא שְׁמַע: גָּדוֹל כְּבוֹד הַבְּרִיּוֹת שֶׁדּוֹחֶה לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁבַּתּוֹרָה. (בבלי ברכות יט, ב) |
When we recognize divinity, we uphold dignity. This includes our own: we can certainly stick up for ourselves and articulate our needs, and listeners can have the resilience to hear a person’s upset when it bursts out. But we also have to give respect to get respect: As speakers we uphold the dignity of our listeners by showing appreciation, finding common ground, and using
language that reflects our intention to stay in relationship.
Please find the text from the above linked in a document here.
Tue, February 11 2025
13 Shevat 5785
Upcoming Schedule
Friday Night
Candle Lighting : 5:11pm |
: 5:15pm |
Shabbat Day
Shacharit : 9:00am |
Children's Programming : 10:00am |
Mincha/Maariv : 5:10pm |
Havdalah : 6:12pm |
Upcoming Programs & Events
Feb 12 Tu Bishvat Zohar Study Wednesday, Feb 12 7:00pm |
Mar 7 Community Dinner Friday, Mar 7 6:30pm |
Mar 9 Bet Art Midrash Sunday, Mar 9 5:00pm |
Mar 19 FTJC Book Club Wednesday, Mar 19 7:00pm |
Mar 21 P'nei Shabbat #1 Friday, Mar 21 6:00pm |
This week's Torah portion is Parshat Yitro
Shabbat, Feb 15 |
Tu B'Shvat
Thursday, Feb 13 |
Update this content.
We are located at the Fort Washington Collegiate Campus at 729 W 181st St, New York, NY .10033.
Privacy Settings | Privacy Policy | Member Terms
©2025 All rights reserved. Find out more about ShulCloud